Traditionally, the wedding day is hosted by your parents and paid for by your father. Today, the etiquette of old is far less rigid and only about 30% of weddings are paid for by your parents. More and more couples are opting to pay for their own wedding since they are then free to choose exactly what they want without the worry of putting their parents under financial strain. Recent research has shown that about 50% of weddings are now paid for by the bride and groom and about 15% are paid for by everyone contributing in varying degrees. However, many brides' fathers have prepared themselves for their daughter's marriage by saving well in advance and they welcome the opportunity to exercise their prerogative.

If you intend to adopt the traditional responsibilities for paying your wedding expenses, the following usually applies:

The Bride's Father pays for:
Engagement announcement in newspaper.
Stationery and postage expenses.
Bride's and bridesmaids' dresses and accessories.
Page boy outfit.
His own suit and bride's mother's outfit.
Transport for bride and himself, bridesmaids and bride's mother to ceremony venue.
Transport for bride and groom, bride's mother, bridesmaids and himself from ceremony venue to reception venue.
Flowers for the church and reception.
Bouquets for the bride and bridesmaids ( * see below).
Buttonholes for participants and guests ( * see below).
Photographer and/or videographer.
Wedding Cake.
Reception and all associated expenses.
Wedding Insurance.
Overnight accommodation for close family if required.
Wedding present for his daughter and her new husband.
Wedding consultant fees.
* Sometimes considered the responsibility of the groom.

The Groom's Parents pay for:
The parents' meeting following the engagement announcement.
Their own outfits.
Wedding present for the newly-weds.

The Bride pays for:
Hen party.
Groom's ring.
Something old, new, borrowed and blue.
Hairdresser and beautician on the day.
Her going-away outfit.
Present for groom.

The Groom pays for:
Stag party.
Bride's wedding ring.
Hiring of his own, best man's and ushers' suits.
Transport for best man and himself to ceremony venue.
Civil or church ceremony fees.
Presents for the bride, bridesmaids, pages, ushers and best man.
His going-away outfit.
Transport away from reception venue for himself and his new wife.
Wedding night venue.
Honeymoon.
Press announcement for wedding.

The Bride and Groom pay for:
Present for the bride's parents.

The best man does not usually pay for anything although he will pay for the marriage ceremony on the day with money given to him by the groom.

Alternative Ways of Paying
Paying the full cost of a wedding may be beyond the means of many bride's parents. Indeed, you may feel it is unreasonable to even consider anyone but yourselves footing the bill, especially if you are both working or are older than the traditional age for first marriages. However, many parents would like to contribute to the cost and you should be sensitive about their desires.

If your parents wish to contribute and you are happy for them to do so, it is well worth sitting down with them and discussing what sum they feel comfortable paying. This way, when you have agreed your budget, you will know the extent of what you will have to pay yourselves .

Alternatively, you may wish to estimate the costs for the type and style of wedding you want and then let your parents see what your estimates are. Etiquette dictates that the estimated costs be shown to the your parents first so they have first refusal. Once you know what they are happy with paying, you can then decide whether it is appropriate to show the estimate to your groom's parents or simply decide to pay the balance yourselves.

Probably, the question of who will pay for your wedding was talked about, albeit in broad terms, when you discussed your engagement with your parents. Knowing your parents' feelings on the matter will give you the best possible guidance on who you can approach now that your plans are more tangible.